it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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