That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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