the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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