I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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