problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
