He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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