i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
