You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
