If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
