Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
