At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
