I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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