I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
