brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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