Dual....:-)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
