That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
