Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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