Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
