I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
