If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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