i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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