to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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