Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
