That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
