1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
