Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
