My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize