Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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