Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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