He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
