remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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