i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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