North Korea, Best Korea!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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