3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
