My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
