I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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