You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
