Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He shit in the fireplace
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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