To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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