Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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