Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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