my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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