eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
