We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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