White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
