I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
