we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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