this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize