WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
