About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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