Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
