I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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