just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
