does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
