So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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