Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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