I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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