We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize