Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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