maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
