It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
