my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize