She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
